现代婚恋观的挑战：80后幸福在何方

来源：《外语小事》的博客


40,000 people gathered on May 26th and 27th for Shanghai’s Matchmaking Expo.However， Yu Bin doesn’t expect to find a wife among them. Mr Yu, a 26-year-old policeman, describes himself as conservative and is looking for a woman with "traditional virtues". His attendance at the expo, the city’s largest yet, is a long shot; he would prefer a marriage set up by colleagues or by his parents. It worked for them 30 years ago, he says。
5月26日至27日有四万人参加了上海婚恋博览会，但余斌(音)并不期望在其中找到另一半。余先生今年26岁，是一名警察，自认为是一名保守的男人，正在寻找一位拥有"传统美德"的女性。他参加这次婚恋博览会(尽管这是上海市最大的一次了)，成功找到另一半的机会相当渺茫；他更希望通过同事或父母介绍对象。他说，30年前，父母们的婚姻就是这样建立起来的。
On the other side of the vast expo park, Fancy Huang is arguing with her mother. At 25, Ms Huang (who chose her English name herself) is two years shy of the dreaded age at which she will be branded a shengnu, or "leftover woman". Her cousins are all married, so her parents are applying pressure. Ms Huang’s mother is stewing. "Sometimes my daughter says she would rather buy a flat by herself and live alone," she says. "It’s so bizarre."
在宽阔世博园的另一边，范希·黄正在与她的母亲争论。黄女士(她的英文名是自己取的)今年25岁，再过两年，她将会被人称为剩女。她的表兄妹们都已经结婚了，因此她的父母正在催她结婚。黄女士的母亲焦虑不安。她说："有时我的女儿说她宁愿自己买一套房子一个人生活。这太奇怪了。"
Mr Yu and Ms Huang are just two of the thousands of young people trying to navigate China’s modern marriage market. At the expo there is no shortage of assistance.
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On one stage, a glamorous woman in a fuchsia minidress is hosting a public matchmaking session. A bachelor comes onstage and sings a song to 12 female contestants who hold up paddles with either a smiley or a sad face. Elsewhere, mass speed-dating events are under way. Dating agencies vie for singles to sign up. Their websites are wildly popular in China. One such site, Jiayuan, is listed on America’s NASDAQ stockmarket。
余先生和黄女士只是数千名年轻人中的两位，他们正在试图摸清中国的现代婚恋市场。在博览会上并不缺少帮助。在一个舞台上，一位身穿紫红色短裙的美女正在主持一场大众相亲会。单身男子上台向十二名女嘉宾唱一首歌，然后女嘉宾要么举起笑脸的牌子，要么举起伤心表情的牌子。其他地方正在开展大众速配活动。婚恋公司相互竞争让单身们成为自己网站的注册用户。它们的网站在中国广受欢迎。一家这样的网站——世纪佳缘网已经在美国的纳斯达克股票市场上市。
In the past 30 years the Chinese search for a spouse has, like so much else, been transformed. Confucian thought emphasised a match’s significance for society rather than for the individuals involved. Though formal arranged marriages were banned in 1950, parents and colleagues continued well into the new century to help couples pair up (some still do)。
在过去30里，与许多其他事情一样，中国人寻找另一半的方式已经改变了。儒家思想强调婚姻之于社会的意义而不是之于个人的意义。尽管在1950年已经禁止公开的包办婚姻，但父母和同事帮忙相亲一直持续到了新世纪(现在仍然是如此)。
The recent decline of such practices, especially in cities, in favour of choosing your own mate, has coincided with huge demographic shifts. China’s skewed birth ratio (118 boys to every 100 girls) means that there will be a surplus of about 24m bachelors by 2020. And women’s increasing socio-economic freedom makes them pickier when choosing a husband。
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最近这种情况减少了，更倾向于自己找对象，在城市尤其是如此，这正好赶上了巨大的人口变迁。中国扭曲的出生率(男女出生比率为118比100)意味着，到2020年，近2400万名男子将成为光混。而随着女性在社会经济方面的自由度越来越大，她们在挑选丈夫时将更加挑剔。
Mr Yu, the traditionalist, remains hopeful. "We just haven’t been in the right place at the right time," he says of his putative partner. Other bachelors are less patient. Last month, the "Multi-Millionaire Seeking Spouses in Ten Cities Show" launched in the southern city of Guangzhou. Eleven Chinese millionaires are paying a luxury matchmaking agency 5m yuan ($790,000) for assistance. One of them, a billionaire, has particular requirements: suitable candidates should be aged 20-26, weigh less than 50kg (110lb) and have no sexual experience. So far more than 5,000 young women have applied。
传统的余先生仍然满怀希望。他在谈到自己今后的另一半时说："我们只是缘分未到而已。"其他单身们就没这么沉得住气了。上月，南部城市广州发起了"亿万富豪十城求偶秀"。11位中国的百万富豪支付500万元(合79万美元)，向一家豪华的婚恋公司求助。其中一位亿万富翁开出了特殊的条件：年龄20-26岁、体重不超过50公斤(合110磅)、纯洁之身才可入围。到目前为止已有5000多名年轻女性报名申请。
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